But the kids and I had to suffer the consequences.
On Tuesday it was a cold, snowy evening and Ryan was still at work. I put the kids to bed at 8:00 and settled myself down for a good City of Bones read. Just after 8:30 someone knocks on my door.
And the dog starts barking like a demonic hellhound.
And Ethan and Maddie, who had just fallen asleep, wake up and want to know who is at the door.
Good question.
In only a t-shirt and underwear, I crept out into the darkened living room and looked out.
You don't want to know the word that crossed my lips, folks. Suffice it to say, it has four letters and reminds with duck. (That's right, I said "Suck!" What were you thinking I said?)
It's two guys from the local LDS Elders Quorum. (I didn't know this at the time, however. I only found that out later when Ryan started receiving voice mails from them.)
Big mama is pissed. Now my kids are awake and my hallowed reading time is pierced. And why in the hell did they park half a block up the street? So we wouldn't see them coming?
Now, I'd compare them to salesman, but most salesman have enough sense not to go around peddling their wares that late at night. But they did have a product to sell me: happiness.
See, they think they have the market on it. Why else would they so shamelessly come over? I don't go over to my neighbor's houses trying to tell them how to live their lives or how to find happiness. But apparently these two men felt they had a message that Ryan and I would benefit from.
F&#k that. Keep your damn message to yourself. Or better yet, here's message for you:
We've already found happiness. Guess where? Having Sunday as our family day instead of a day to get dressed up and do things that we're told to do by other people. That's right, we go to the movies, the mall, the roller-rink, even the canyon for a family picnic! We also do a whole lotta other things that aren't on the Elders Quorum approved list:
--imbibe in caffeinated beverages (hot ones, too)
--watch movies that look good to us, regardless of the rating
--spend our money on charitable services when and where we see fit
--hang out with gays, "so-called-intellectuals", and feminists
We're not giving this up for you, Elders. So walk away. Walk away before you even open your mouth, because inevitably you'll end up with your foot it in.
(Note: I suspect these fellows had a little help in finding us here in Lexington after 7 months. The person that helped them needs to seriously consider how what they are doing is not helping the situation.)
3 comments:
Okay, okay... so it was me.
PSYCH! Hahahahahaha! When's the last time you did that?!
Anyhow, while it is obviously annoying that they showed up at such an hour, there is no need to go bashing the poor guys. They're just doing their job. After all, it probably wasn't them who "found" you. Maybe you should have your names removed from the church membership lists if it's THAT bothersome. Then they can't upset your happy vibe going on over there. (secretly, however, I think you like it, because it gives you subject matter for your blog) ;)
Dude you know I love good blog material. But seriously, the fact that it is their "job" to come over and visit me is the problem itself. Normal people don't make it their job to come over just because it's their "job." Anyone else who has come over has been my neighbor, and they came over because they genuinely wanted to get to know me, not increase their membership stats or feel good cuz they left a plate of cookies at an inactives.
True. They should do it because they want to, and maybe they really do. Chances are most people don'; myself included. However,I don't go to inactive members homes unless I know them, but that's just me.
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