The following nine questions are just a small, but ACTUAL sampling of the questions I have been asked when people find out I'm no longer LDS.
1. Were you excommunicated or something?
Okay. Can anyone guess why I might have a problem with this? You know that you have to do something pretty bad to get exed, and it’s like you’re being asked to lay bare your deepest, darkest secrets.
So I say, “Yeah. I was a sex-addict.” Come one people! The real answer:
Nope. Sadly, I was pretty molly for a mo’.
Which leads into the ever infamous second question:
2. Oh. So did someone offend you?
Your face offends me. Oh wait, that’s not nice. No one offended me. My leaving the church was a gradual process. As I gained more knowledge I was able to leave my blind trust and ignorance behind.
3. Oh, I feel so sorry for you.
WTF?? How condescending can you be? The translation for “I feel so sorry for you” is “You’re going to hell and I’m not” or, “Jesus loves me more than you.”
I usually respond by saying, Don’t be. My life is better than it’s ever been. What’s that? You fight with your husband and kids all the time? You’re in debt up to your eyeballs? Well, I don’t and I’m not. So your paltry pity disgusts me.
4. Just because you don’t believe in Mormonism doesn’t mean you can’t believe in God.
I know. But I don’t. Believe in God that is. You see, God’s never done anything for me that I couldn’t have done myself. God’s never spoken or shown himself to me. And if God’s so great, he certainly doesn’t need my belief in him. If he’s out to get me because I don’t believe in him, than he’s the one with the problem.
5. Did you get your name taken off the records?
Again, this is personal. But for some reason people defy convention in this situation and pry anyway. The answer? No.
6. You must still believe, then. If you didn’t you would have your name taken off.
Nope. I don’t believe, and I’ll probably get around to getting it removed. Right now, I must admit, there are a few benefits to having it still there.
Benefit A: Free cookies from the weekly designated “do something nice” relief society sister.
Benefit B: Free yard/home labor to encourage the “less-active” to show herself at church.
Benefit C: Saving 41 cents postage from having to mail in my removal request
Now, there are drawbacks as well. Mostly it’s that the church still counts me in its membership, and that is not something I want to be a part of. BTW, I find it interesting that any cig-smokin, alcohol totin’ member by record only is counted as part of the church’s membership, but when it comes to allowing its members into the temple, no way ray. You have to be among what I call the “platinum donors” to get that privilege. Interesting how the church has it both ways.
7. Do you wear garments? Really. I almost peed my pants when I was asked this. I guess I’ll show you my undies if you show me yours.
8. If you don’t believe in God, then you should have no problem with murderers. They’re just doing what they believe. And besides, without God how can you justify a moral code?
I’ll tell you what I know: I know life is short. I know when I die, it’s over. My consciousness will fade. I’ll never again hold the hand of my loved ones or kiss my beautiful kids. And that scares the hell out of me. But, you know what? I’m gonna enjoy this life. I’m going to cultivate good relationships with my kids and husband now, not just wait until the so called afterlife to sort it out. Today is all I have. I’m making my life good now. That’s where my morality code comes from. I don’t have to believe in God to know that murder is wrong. I don’t have to believe in God to find meaning in life. I don’t even have to mean beyond this life. And a million years from now my inconsequential life might not have mattered one iota, but it matters to me now and I’m going to enjoy it.
4 days ago
6 comments:
WOW.
Oh my gosh, I feel so sorry for you! (HA HA!! Just kidding).
In my short 29 years of life, I have come to realize that there is a huge difference between being religious and being spiritual. I have met a lot of religious people who were mean and callous. I have also met non-religious people who were the salt of the earth.
Religion is simply the hospital for those in need. It should feed spirituality and nurture it. For those who feel religion is required to acheive heavenly status, consider all the millions who walked the earth with no access to organized religion.
I personally find great joy and happiness in participation of all things in the church (oh yah, PLATINUM STATUS!!). I mostly find that I am a better person, happier and more spiritual. I don't think religion is the only way to find that, but it sure does the trick for me.
You have always been a friend to me. In my book, that makes you the salt of the earth. :)
P.S. Are you really a sex addict??
Reggs,
i do have many vices, but the closest i come to being a sex addict is being a slutty romance novel addict. :)
i really appreciate your thoughts--they make me feel all warm and fuzzy. i'm always afraid people are going to judge me or shun me. especially since i was kind of ticked as i was writing that piece. i got tired of all the random people in sg asking me this stuff that it just bubbled over.
anyways, thanks for your thoughts. i really enjoyed them.
We love you no matter what Steph...especially when you brighten our Sundays with visits!! :)
Go smutty romance novels! Hahahaha!
*I wrote a comment here yesterday, but my internet started acting funny and it would keep freezing up, so now all you get is this.* :)
Very interesting! Whatever your views, I've always admired you. My hope is that you are happy and, in the end, we should all be true to ourselves.
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