A pill a day keeps the madness away . . .

I've come to the following determination: I am a paranoid rapid-cycling-bi-polaric manic-depressive.

It's true.

I have to pop 40 mg of Paxil a day to maintain my awesomeness. Should I forget to take "mommy's little helpers", you do not want to be around me. Example: when the SG city wouldn't let me sign up to pay them $125 for electricity because my license was expired, my alter ego came out. "Effing bastards!" Who did they think I was, an illegal alien from Denmark?If there had been a policeman handy, however, there is no doubt I would be cooling my heels in Purgatory right now. (Note: it is a little-known but mostly true goal of mine to appear on the Washington County Bookings page.)

Yeah . . . you seriously do not want to cross me when I've forgotten my meds. I also take Busparin when my anxiety rears it's ugly head. Without these gems you will find me in my bed at 5 p.m., having never gotten out of it.

The paranoia was only a recent realization. It hit me when I was at Wal-Fart the other day, paying for my groceries. I glanced behind me and another customer, an older woman, was in line too. Immediately I felt she was out to get me. If she so much as looks at me wrong, I'll go off on her, I thought. She's probably is going to make a comment about my child. Well that old be-atch isn't gonna get me! I was on the defensive, and that's when I realized that the old "be-atch" probably didn't give crap about me and was only concerned whether the clerk was going to give her the right price for her Depends.

Phew. So now you know that you're dealing with an unhinged individual. Lucky you.